reality.

Let's face it: as human beings, we love comfort.

In relationships---one finds comfort. In safety---one finds comfort. In ease---ones finds comfort. In a job well done---one finds comfort. In truth---one finds comfort. In warmth---one finds comfort. In a gentle touch---one finds comfort. And if one is truly to be honest with himself, he can spend moment upon moment dreaming of future comforts and how he will attain them and be satisfied.

But what kind of life is that? I spent my time on this earth pursuing... that's right: comfort.

Lame. Stupid. Pathetic.

You see, I am a huge fan of reality. I realize that I don't have a chance with Carrie Underwood. I'm not going to be the next Pele. I won't be considered as one of the best guitarists of my generation. I am not the worlds greatest coach or teacher. Not everything that I cook is going to taste great. But if my value doesn't lie in the comforts I could potentially receive from these things, I've missed nothing at all.

You know what's comforting? Grace. Freedom. Purpose.

Here's the thing: it is so incredibly refreshing to not be needed, to be a vessel of opportunity, to be given second chances, to be a project, to need help and to be loved with an everlasting love.

I've received these beautiful things by faith. I bring nothing to the table. In fact, I feel like I screw things up most of the time.

But Faith is so delicate. God could literally walk up to me, hand me a map and sometimes I feel like my response would be "pfft, this is bs... I have to search?" It can be so easy to feel like you're playing a "one-sided" relationship with God. "God, why don't you answer me!"

Seriously?

I think it's because we love reality. We want something tangible---but guess what? God loves reality too. Remember how your not floating away like a fricking balloon because of gravity. Did you forget that the sun does a lot more than just shed light onto the earth? Are the nutrients in your food not sustaining to you? You're right, I guess it's not really that impressive that God created everything around you and holds them together---man, He should probably get on top of things, eh?

It is so easy for me to play a doubting Thomas. I like to look back at those who doubted Jesus after He told them he would be raised after three days and laugh---as if I wouldn't have done the same thing. He fulfills prophecy after prophecy, he answers prayer after prayer, yet it isn't enough for me:

"¹⁶Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. ¹⁷When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. "

We have two choices: doubt Him and live an empty life pursuing passing comforts, or worship Him by faith. Not a feeling of faith but true zealous action that longs to see Christ personified through "faith to faith" as Romans says.

Yeah, we're only human. I understand the doubt---I even see a need for it many times. Faith is a battle. It's hard to believe in the unseen, but that is exactly why God shows Himself.

Look for Him.