heart.

If there is one thing I have a hard time with, it is obedience.

It's not that I don't see value in obeying. Nor is it the fact that I may disagree with what is being presented to me. I simply despise force. The words must, should, have to, need to, will or shall become enough to send me into a rage of fury when combined with the simple word "do."

I know why. It's my heart. It's a beautiful flower surrounded by weeds that choke the life out if it. It's a fresh water spring next to a sewage plant. It's a Taco Bell surrounded by burger joints.

And my heart is new because of Christ. His Spirit grows me and plants desires that confuse my sin nature because they actually make sense.

So on one hand, I struggle with being obedient because of my sin nature, and on the other hand, I am frustrated with methods that seek behavioral change but lack heart. Does it really matter if you serve your neighbor as an advertisement that states "I'm awesome because I'll serve you"? Have you decided to quit something about... let's see here: fifty times? How's that diet working out for you? That's what I thought. Stop replacing sin for sin and look at your heart.

Do you have deep desires? For marriage. For children. For music. For business. For ministry. For purpose. For revival. For wisdom. For Jesus; I know that I do---but He gave me a purity in those desires as I began to delight in Him (Psalm 37:4).

I don't want the typical white-picket fence. I don't want two spoiled kids and a golden retriever. I don't want to retire and "enjoy my final years." I'm still going to suck at golf when I'm sixty. I literally want to work until it kills me. I want to give this life all that I've got. I want to be hell bent on heaven.

What I want, is a pure life. I want a life that has meaning. I want to sincerely love God and others with a faithful, self-sacrificial, patient, pure heart. Could I have said that five years ago?

Hell no. Do I struggle daily? You bet.

But scripture tells me where that life will flow from: my heart. Life is like a river and my heart is the path that makes it flow, (Proverbs 4:23) so I must examine it constantly.

Do you check your gas gauge and ensure that it has enough juice for you to proceed to your next destination? Yeah, maybe you're broke, or there doesn't seem to be any gas stations in sight, but you still look every time, don't you? Admit it. You are always calculating how much money you're spending and will beg for money to maintain your lifestyle.

So, are you going to look at your heart, meditate on the price that it cost Christ to purchase you and accept his grace to regenerate your heart to revitalize your heart?

Yeah. You should think about it.